"One woman's quest to experience, learn and grow....." And I felt a sudden pang of surprise and wondered.....what have I learned? Have I grown? What have I experienced? Many days have passed since then with these thoughts interrupting and overflowing my everyday activities.
Here is what I have concluded thus far..... Firstly, that experiencing, learning and growing all overlap, intersect, play upon one another, and expand my viewpoint as well as my heart..
My random thoughts are that I've learned I can survive and even enjoy life again without my daughter, though my heart shall remain broken always from her loss. (no matter where I am)
I can make a new home in a foreign, strange land with a language I cannot seem to understand most of the time, let alone master......and even love that new life, that strange land and appreciate the odd and quirky language...
Though my heart sometimes misses "home", but more so the people there I love, and some of the places dear to me; it is OK to be away physically..... The Internet is an amazing thing which allows me to connect across the miles to those left behind and I am grateful for it.
My creativity can blossom from the newness and freedom of a new place and space... I have renewed the joy that sewing and many different art forms bring me and I adore teaching and watching the children I work with be creative and artsy.
I have aged by already having celebrated two birthdays here since arriving , and though the numbers are scary, I still feel much younger than my calender years. I guess we all say that, young at heart.
I find myself feeling more anxious about what's next after this amazing Peace Corps experience. At this point I am pondering a third year in my present location and position; provided my school (HCA), and PC think it's a good idea!
Uncertainty lies ahead of me in the form of not knowing where to go next, what to do, what I want... And if I've learned anything it's that we can plan and calculate all we want, but the universe (or our higher power or whatever else we call it...) is in control, and I want to continue enjoying the ride.